So to be clear about my pronouns, because although they’ve been stable for a while now I don’t think I’ve really put in the time to explain this properly—I’ve got two sets that fit me. There may be some workable neopronouns, but I haven’t really had the energy to get into a hyperfocus there. Either she/her or they/them is fine, though there are differences.
The best comparison I can make is to a thee/thou situation, with an added gender twist. “She/her” is most accurate and affirmative. But in its specificity it also is more familiar, and feels a little weird unless we’re well acquainted. “They/them” also applies, if more formally. The slight vagueness just feels more… appropriate, for more distant association. Also: respect the enbiness first.
I don’t really see this changing without a big shakeup in my concept of myself, which seems to be pretty stable and rooted at this point, some nuances aside.