Lacking the How-Do Ken

  • Reading time:2 mins read

I wish it were still possible to go into an arcade and wander around, seeing new things, doing things I hadn’t done before in a videogame. Like when the arcade was full of new things like Rolling Thunder and Double Dragon.

I remember what a revelation it was that you could run over and pick up the bat, or duck behind the tires. And any multiplayer was generally cooperative. You watch someone play, you think “hey, that looks neat”, and you jump in to help him.

When Street Fighter II was new, I could just go in and play it the way I’d play Final Fight. It was like a complicated eight-stage boss run.

Then everything became about penises, and today there’s no point even going into arcades anymore. The moment you start up a game, someone more obsessive sidles up to punish you for the affrontery and take over the machine. It would be neat to go out and see some of these new games, like Street Fighter IV and KOF XII, but the novelties have mostly become a thing of nuance. And if I’m not going to be allowed to play them unmolested, and study them at my own leisure, why bother? I’ve got enough things waiting in line to irritate me, without actively seeking them.

The thing is, this is all an aberration. Today the hardcore competitive aspect has gained dominance, but that’s what happens to unchecked hardcore competitive anythings, usually to their eventual downfall outside of that core group that enjoys butting heads. Some people just like to eat their soup without others homing in and pissing in it. I’d wager they would stand in the majority, actually…

Doesn’t help that games are rarely just a quarter anymore. I spend my dollar, whatever, I want to get the most out of it. If I choose not to pay the panhandler, I don’t want to get chased for a block and shouted at. (Which may sound familiar to San Francisco residents.) Maybe it would be different if there were, like, a set fee that you pay going in the door. But on a pay-by-play basis, fuck that.

If there’s a reason that arcades barely exist anymore — well, I’d put this at the top of the list.

Fungaloid worms

  • Reading time:2 mins read

I’ve been sitting here for over twelve hours, playing with MAME. It initially began as a quest to find and play the Castlevania arcade game. While it is pretty… not-good, I did get me-out a hefty basket of insight on Simon’s Quest.

I’ll let your imagination play with that for a while.

It only took a few plays to fill me as full of Haunted Castle as I wished to be filled. So, I took to seeing what else MAME happened to support. This was the first time that I’d really paid much attention to the program. It used to be a practical nuisance, last it was high on my radar.

Now, though, it… kind of works okay. It’s still not got some features that I’d like, but it makes up for them in how comprehensive it manages to be. You’ve got your Art of Fighting 3 right next to your Asteroids and your Rolling Thunder and your obscure Japanese porn Mahjong.

Through all of this business, something struck me.

I’ve… most recently spent an hour with Centipede when I could have been sleeping. This wasn’t in the plans. After about fifteen minutes, though, it occurred to me what was going on with the levels. Merely by playing the game, I was altering the level design. It couldn’t be helped.

When stage 2 came around, it wasn’t a different stage because of a pre-ordained set of obstacles. It didn’t even rely on a random generator. I made it different, albeit unintentionally. The randomness of my actions was translated, through various side effects, into the randomness of the mushroom field. All I had to do was be there. To exist.

It keeps going on like that. Perpetually. You get the same thing with Asteroids, although with all the moving pieces it’s not quite as evident.

Games aren’t quite so poetic anymore, are they.

Hmm, I say!

EDIT:

According to the KLOV, Centipede was the first arcade game to be designed by a woman (a certain Dona Bailey — sister to Justin, perhaps?).

Curious, curious.

Compile, SNK, and Toaplan? This ain’t your kid brother’s game collection.

  • Reading time:1 mins read

Acqusitions for the day:

NES
Tengen Namco Rolling Thunder
Broderbund Compile The Guardian Legend
Capcom Capcom Section-Z
SNK SNK Athena
Genesis
Sega Toaplan Truxton

Yes. All I’m missing is Technos. If you throw in my copies of Kabuki Quantum Fighter, NES Fantasy Zone, and Solar Jetman from the LA trip, I’m becoming extra-specially equipped!

HuzYAH, I say.

And I do, too. Wait for it. There. Did you hear?

Okay. I lied. I wouldn’t say such a thing.

Or would I?

I’m just so mysterious.

Total Recall

  • Reading time:1 mins read

After taking a shower, I realized that my towel smells like Rolling Thunder… and OutRun and Space Harrier, and Master System games just out of their shrinkwrap, new manuals open and eyes agog in a pizzeria near the toy store. And a weird, haunting song which seemed to always be playing in the background, which seemed at the time, to me, to involve a group of children singing on how they were going to die now.

OutRun was the most magical game in the world when I was eight.

Why wasn’t Rolling Thunder ever properly ported to a home console? I mean, there was the crummy Tengen adaptation for the NES, but…

Hm.